Vancan Outta The Blue

You Might Be A Bandwagoner
November 12, 2011, 14:49
Filed under: Archived: Hockey | Tags: , , , , ,


**Author’s note: This post is ANOTHER in Josh Hall’s bid to Replace the KB as part of The Province Newspaper’s Hockey Blogger Competition. When sharing on twitter or facebook, please use the hashtags #ReplaceTheKB and #ProvNeedsVancan. Thank you for supporting Josh in his quest! For more info on the details of the contest and other bloggers, click HERE!**

By Josh Hall

True Canucks fans do exist, and no they weren’t rioting on June 15th, 2011. Of course there is a flip side to everything and in this case we are talking about the not so mythical creature that is the Canucks bandwagoner.

Some bandwagoners don’t even know they are bandwagoners and sometimes when they are accused of being one, they can’t admit it. I have put together a helpful guide for one and for all to educate one’s self on whether or not you are in fact, a Canucks bandwagoner.

11.       If you only watch because the players are hot/you saw Ryan Kesler’s nude photoshoot/you have puck bunny syndrome…you are definitely a bandwagoner.

You are most likely a girl and most likely have a boyfriend who is really into hockey or you’re single and have no actual interests. You glob on to hockey and call yourself a fan, but really you just can’t wait for the next close up of Ryan Kesler stretching during warm-up.

10.       If you turn the game off your TV midway through because they’re losing…you are definitely a bandwagoner.

Friday night’s game is a prime example of this. I don’t even need to take a survey because I know people turned off the game before the Ducks even had 4 goals. Serves you right that you missed probably the most entertaining third period you’re going to see all season from the Canucks. Advice: Be more patient and keep the faith.

9.       If the Flying Spaghetti or Flying V mean nothing to you…you are definitely a bandwagoner.

The Canucks only switched back to the Blue and Green a few seasons ago, so you probably don’t appreciate the success this team has had with past colours and logos. In fact, the Canucks have reached the Stanley Cup Final now with each of the primary logos they have had, not counting the ‘Stick In Rink.’ Oh, and I bet you didn’t know that each of the three players who are in the rafters all wore that flying plate of spaghetti.

8.       If you call Rogers Arena ‘The Rogers Arena,’ ‘Rogers Centre,’ or ‘GM Place…’ you might be a bandwagoner.

Clearly you’ve either just recently become a fan or you’re too lazy of a person to start calling it its actual name. There is no ‘THE,’ The Rogers Centre is in Toronto, and GM Place is so 14 months ago.  If you don’t get that being associated with something from a city full of losing teams is a no-no, then away with you. If you are in fact a real fan but you still call it one of these things, get with the times and/or stop living in the past. GM Place gave us no Stanley Cups so calling it that now is only bad luck. Here’s an idea, let’s call it Canada Hockey Place.

7.       If you joined in on the local Cup festivities this past summer of Mark Recchi or Milan Lucic, you are a traitor and most certainly a bandwagoner.

Seriously, you claim to have been a fan forever and suffered countless letdowns by your team but yet still are a fan? Then you decide to go hoot and holler it up with somebody from the team that beat your so called favourite team? Give me a break. I get wearing a shirt or clothing of some kind if you lost a bet, but I don’t care if one of the players grew up in your current house, they are the enemy. Milan Lucic may be an East Vancouver hero to some, but to a true fan, he is nothing more than the monster underneath each true fan’s bed that ripped out our hearts and souls while we were sleeping.

6.       If you can’t name the THREE retired numbers and players retired by the Canucks…you may as well be a bandwagoner.

In my experience as a hard-core fan, one can only appreciate the plight of the current team representing a Cupless franchise by knowing a little bit about what has come before them. A good way to measure the success and get a flavour of what the franchise has been like in the past, is by looking at who the best players have been. For all you bandwagoners reading this, the names Stan Smyl (12), Trevor Linden (16) and Markus Naslund (19) probably mean nothing to you, unless you order your eye glasses from Lasik or work out at Club 16 like me.

5.       If you Blame Roberto Luongo when we get shut out, you know nothing about hockey and are 110% a bandwagoner.

So bandwagoners, if you know as much about hockey as you claim, what do you have to do to win? Oh yeah, score goals. Can a goalie score a goal? Yes. How many times has it been done in history? Nine times by seven different goalies. Roberto Luongo isn’t one of those and even if he managed to score 7 goals, that might win us 2 or 3 games tops, if he scores multiple times in one game. So next time you blame Lu for the Canucks getting shutout, think of the players who couldn’t score a goal 190 feet closer to the opposing net than Luongo.

4.       If you only watch the playoffs…you’re pretty much a bandwagoner.

There’s no denying the NHL Playoffs are astronomically more exciting, on average, than the regular season. That being said, true fans know that it’s all about the journey; not just the sprint to the finish. A true fan can appreciate the bonding and development that goes on during the course of a regular season. If you just have April 9th circled on your calendar every year, then there is no way you really understand how that team got to where it is or really, how big of a favourite or underdog they are entering the playoffs. Enjoy the trip from September to June.

3.       If you attend a Canucks game and leave before the final horn…you’re 99.9% a bandwagoner or 00.1% a horrible manager of your time.

These days, it costs an arm and a leg for a ticket to a Canucks game which regularly top the league’s ticket prices rankings. If you’re not committed enough to staying until the final buzzer, why bother going? I’m not talking about a 3-2 situation late with the Canucks threatening to tie. If you leave then, you’re just stupid. This is more about if the team is down Five-Zilch and there’s no hope of a comeback, you leave with 5 or less to go. As much as these players get paid, they are still human and they still need and love fan support. It boosts morale to have a full stadium at the end of an embarrassing loss compared to a half empty arena.

2.   If you say the Canucks suck, you’re just an idiot (bandwagoner).

Call the NW Division weak, but the Canucks have won 4 of the last 5 Division Championships. If someone came to me today and said the Canucks suck, I would just be speechless from their lack of common sense. Hello? They were just in the Stanley Cup Final. Yes, they lost, but they finished in the top 6.7% of a 30 team league. They have arguably three of the best forwards in the entire world and a goalie, when on top of his game, is elite as anyone. The Canucks don’t suck, YOU DO!

1.   Finally, if you say “IT’S JUST A GAME,” You can bite me and remain the bandwagoner you are.

Recently in the sports world, we have seen the story out of Penn. State involving the sexual abuse scandal. In that respect, when it comes to sports, YES, it is just a game. But it’s different when someone such as me puts as much effort into learning and knowing the game of hockey and the team that is the Canucks as much a Med. Student puts into becoming a great doctor. Everyone has something that they love in life and would do anything to know more about, sports or not. It’s even more important to note that sometimes these obsessions with hockey come from past family experiences. Maybe someone became a Canucks fan 20 years ago because their father was a huge fan. Bottom line is that it IS more than just a game; it’s a way of life.

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[…] bunnies as they are one breed of something I like to call a Bandwagoner. Read my piece on those HERE! Go through all the female Canucks fans on my Twitter account and I promise you 95% of them […]

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