Vancan Outta The Blue


Twas The Month Before November
October 30, 2011, 14:35
Filed under: Canucks & NHL, Replace The KB | Tags: , , ,

**Author’s note: This post is the second in Josh Hall’s bid to Replace the KB as part of The Province Newspaper’s Hockey Blogger Competition. When sharing on twitter or facebook, please use the hashtags #ReplaceTheKB and #ProvNeedsVancan. Thank you for supporting Josh in his quest! For more info on the details of the contest and other bloggers, click HERE!**

By Josh Hall

October 31st is usually known as Halloween in these parts, but something just doesn’t seem right. The kiddies may be out trick or treating tonight, but it almost feels like another holiday is on the horizon.

That’s right, it feels like Christmas Eve here in Canucks land! Santa hasn’t landed in the malls yet, but Sinter Luongo has made an appearance at Rogers Arena…finally!

It really is unreal how some “fans” just don’t get it. Sure, we would love to see our boys in blue play better in October, but the reality is that that will likely never happen unless a new coach is brought in. That won’t happen unless history doesn’t repeat itself like it has the last three seasons.

Let’s break it down (all stats courtesy of CanucksDotCom):

In the last three Octobers combined (2008-2010), the Canucks have an overall record of 17-15-2. That’s a win% of .529 over 34 total games. If you add their record from this October, their win drops to .500.

Now we have the Novembers immediately following those mediocre Octobers. With a combined record of 23-12-5 for a win% of .645, the Canucks dress up as Jekyll for Halloween, get smashed at the Roxy and wake up as Hyde on the morning of November 1st.

The point is Canucks fans, I am begging you to have faith in the blue and green. I get it; you’ll believe it when you see it. Alas, all you have to do is look at the stat and remember numbers don’t lie. So to spice things up a bit and get everyone in the festive mood and ready for Tuesday’s gift opening versus the Flames, I present to you ‘The Night Before Christmas,’ Canucks style.

Twas the night before November, when all through the rink
Not a sole Swede was skating, not even Hank or Dank.
The banners were hung from the rafters with care,
In hopes that St. Linden would return with fanfare.

The bandwagoners were nestled all snug in their seats,
With visions of Luongo suffering in defeat.
And Gillis with his ‘kerchief, and AV his lozenge,
Just attempting to figure which issue to bandage.

When up in the stands there arose such a clatter,
People were booing as if something was the matter?
Away to Lu’s side he flew like a flash,
Meanwhile an editorial written that belonged in the trash.

The ire in his rant of the Nucks Number One
Gave the impression he insisted his team wasn’t done.
When, what to our wondering ears should chime in,
But Mark Spector from Sportsnet with his slanderous din.

“Now Schneider, you start! And Kesler, you’re in!”
AV still doesn’t know what the hell to do with Cody Hodgson!
“To the 3rd line you go! Booth, you’re welcome to his spot!
Now produce for god sakes! Oh sorry David, say that, I should not.”

As the Twins go, does the crazy Burricane™ fly,
When they’re down in the corners, they cycle like bikes.
So up to the point-the passes they flew,
Salo, Edler and Bieksa’s pointshots be beastly too.

And then, in a jiffy, they could hear right next door,
The Lions were prancing around and they roared!
As they drew in their heads, how to capture that BC Place aura,
Hallelujah for Booth, whence he came from ol’ Florida.

His eyes how they twinkled! His double dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like a baby’s, his head really hairy!
Adios to Sammy and Sturm who were quite a mess,
Thanks guys! Now we have the American Express.

Still stumped though was AV as he toiled in despair,
But clearing was his mind with the riotless air.
He had a broad grin and a little round belly,
“COHO Back to the 2nd, after you eat 9 bowlfuls of jelly!”

The Canucks sprang to life, giving the true fans some hope,
And cheered they did, but was it all of a dope?
Come April you’ll see, ‘ere the Playoffs begin,
“A Merry November to all, The Nucks shall win again!!”

Happy Halloween from Santa Gillis and Mrs. Vigneault

Mrs. Vee and Santa G schmoozing at the Canucks XMas Schindig

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