Vancan Outta The Blue

Occupy Glendale: An Open Letter To Kyle Turris
October 28, 2011, 14:31
Filed under: Canucks & NHL, Replace The KB | Tags: , ,

Mr. Pennyworth thinks he’s worth a lot of pennies!

**Author’s note: This post is the first in Josh Hall’s bid to Replace the KB as part of The Province Newspaper’s Hockey Blogger Competition. When sharing on twitter or facebook, please use the hashtags #ReplaceTheKB and #ProvNeedsVancan. Thank you for supporting Josh in his quest! For more info on the details of the contest and other bloggers, click HERE!**

By Josh Hall

Dear Kyle Turris,

We get it. Phoenix sucks.

Now listen here. You are being the most spoiled little brat the NHL has seen since…dare I say it…Pavel Bure, albeit for somewhat different reasons. Hockey fans and fans of yours expect more from you; a lot more. So please Kyle, allow me to break it down for you by the numbers.

According to this Puck Daddy blog on Yahoo, you were initially requesting 4 million dollars a year over 3 years.

I’m sure you remember that fateful day back in 2007 in Columbus, Ohio where you were drafted 3rd overall behind Patrick Kane and James Van Riemsdyk. Would you happen to know what they’ve done since then?

Kane has won a Stanley Cup. He also has 311 points in 325 regular season games. That’s a stellar 0.96 point per game average. This season, Patrick Kane is going to earn 6 million dollars. I’ll be honest, the way the market is, Kane can rightly demand that type of money based on what he has done for his team in his first four seasons.

Van Riemsdyk took a bit longer to break into the league than Kane, particularly because the Flyers weren’t floundering as much as the Hawks at the time. Alas he has amassed 82 points (40 goals) in 163 games. That makes for a point per game average just above 0.50. Vanny is slated to earn 2.5 million dollars this season; fairly reasonable for a guy who has put up 15+ goals in his first two seasons. He also has four goals in the first ten games of this season. Now he’s no Danny Briere but hey, he’s out there proving his worth and knowing his role. Take a lesson from him you jabroni.

You, Kyle Turris of New Westminster, BC and former Burnaby Express player of the BCHL; well you have put up more points in the AHL than the NHL. Maybe you deserve to be there. We understand that Gretz didn’t really give you a chance in what could have been your full rookie season. You played three games.  But since then, you have gone from 63 games in the NHL one season, to 76 in the AHL the next and 65 in the NHL the very next and you’ve still really done ish all. Sure you haven’t ever said Phoenix sucks to the media and you certainly never will, but let’s assume you do in fact think that. First of all, you would be right. The lack of stardom is embarrassing. Shane Doan and Keith Yandle are in a lonely, lonely place down in Glendale. But shouldn’t all that mean that a skilled player such as yourself should be able to take the reins and put up more than 27 points in 131 games?

Ya know it’s almost as if there’s a miniature Gary Bettman inside your head repeatedly telling you to continue being greedy! Tip: Don’t listen to him.

Are you starting to see how that 4 million you’ve been demanding is a wee bit outrageous? Even take a look down the draft list from 2007. Who was drafted after you and has been more successful? Do the names Sam Gagner, Jakub Voracek, Logan Couture (finalist for Calder last year), Brandon Sutter, Max Paccioretty, Kevin Shattenkirk and David Perron ring a bell? All have been more successful than you and all have earned the contracts they now have, which average $1.67 Million earned this season.

To put this even more in contrast for you, let’s look at Ryan Kesler’s contract. He makes 5 million dollars this year. So according to you and your agent, you are 80% the player Kesler is? Hell to the freakin’ NO man! Get a grip!

Seriously though, you are 22 years old! You have not even come close to proving yourself as worth four million dollars. Allow me to save you the breath and tell you that No, Junior A doesn’t count. That got you drafted, now do something else. That being said, allow me to repeat this. We all get it. Phoenix sucks. The team is lacklustre. The city is not a hockey market. People in the Glendale area are just not interested in hockey in the way players like yourself who dedicate their lives towards the game deserve. I do actually feel bad for you in that respect.

But there’s something called character. Right now, all you have proven is that you don’t have it. Sure, you had the balls to now come out and demand a trade but the management isn’t budging. So what are you going to do now? I will tell you what you should do.

Walk into that dressing room, face all of your teammates and tell them you are sorry. Tell them you’ve been conceited and let them know that you are ready to do anything for any of them off and especially, ON the ice. You have to know in your heart and head that a guy like Shane Doan has slaved himself endlessly to make a hockey living in a place like Phoenix. That man, your captain, deserves a team that respects the city, regardless of it being a hockey market or not.

Next, you go tell your agent to take the next offer Phoenix management is willing to give you because I guarantee, anything they could offer would be fair. You sign that contract and you play in Phoenix. If you were actually granted a trade, I would hope fans all over the league give you the Dany Heatley treatment, a la Ottawa.

Should you eventually sign a contract in Phoenix, maybe you will be lucky enough to one day (possibly very soon) have that franchise move to say, a city in Canada. Deep down, you know and I know that is exactly what you want. But for Wall Street’s sake, pitch your proverbial tent down in the desert and enjoy it. If you don’t, then when you’re 40 and on the verge of retiring, you’ll regret it.

The main message here is that to get anywhere in the best hockey league in the world, you have to pay your dues. Gretzky did. Yeah, remember him? Where ishe now?

Yours in hockey lore,

Josh Hall


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